A letter I am never going to send.

 

In years from now, 

I wouldn’t know 

what place I’ll hold in your life. 

And honestly,

 I’d be fine, 

I don’t like having answers to everything. 

Some days I let myself believe

 in stories that I have imagined. 

If there’s anything, 

I’d want my heart to be your safe place. 

I’d not call you mine, 

because I am afraid to lose whatever place I hold in your life, if I hold any. 

A place that keeps me close to you while being away. 

I’d rather be away keeping you close to my heart, 

instead of being there with you but away. 

I am afraid if I take a step closer, 

I would end up losing this.

 I’d not expect anything more, 

and I don’t even want to, 

I'd be fine with your absence if that’s what life gifts me. 

I will eventually make peace with a love like this, 

I must have begun it somewhere already,

 for I have never felt someone's love from so far paint a smile on my face.

 I keep these smiles safe.

Oh, I must have learned it. 

To love your love, 

that’s always going to be away. 

I'd still be fine with whatever it brings to me.